Telling Everyone

Start Spreading the News...

We are adopting. This was one of the hardest statements I have ever had to say to my parents. Let me start at the beginning...

After Tim and I had decided to adopt, we waited until we officially had a homestudy provider before telling our parents. We wanted to be 100% sure this was happening before we told them. Once it was "official," (it was only 2 weeks later-I'm terrible at keeping my own secrets) it was time to talk. I did a quick Google search for "ways to tell people you're adopting." Every website I found simply gave advice on how to deal with everyone's reactions. Clearly others were as paranoid as I was about people not being understanding with this news. I really wanted to find a cute way to announce the news like you see so many women do when they announce to people that they are pregnant. A picture saying our house is expanding by 2 feet...or a "you're going to be a Grandma" shirt...or bake buns in the oven! I could find no such ideas for adoption.

We decided to take an easy approach to telling our families. We simply printed out a picture of the boy we had fallen in love with and prepared a speech (this is not a joke-we even practiced it). We told Tim's parents on a Saturday night followed by my parents the next night. After the news was out, they asked many of the same questions: "when will you get him," "what is his story," "how long has he been in foster care," and so many other questions. We answered them all to the best of our ability and I of course, broke down each time we talked about it.

Both sets of parents really seemed to be on board from the beginning which was a relief. I'm sure that all of the people closest to us knew that this would be coming some day but I think they were still shocked that it was happening before we had any birth children. We honestly weren't even trying to have birth babies yet! It is interesting, however, to see the look on people's face as you tell them. I think that when I tell people that I have news, they assume I'm pregnant. Then when they hear we want to adopt an older child, they get this half-confused/half-excited look on their face. I didn't know what to make of this look at first but I now find it kind-of funny. What else can you do but laugh? Tim and I have also had a lot of people say that "we're good people" for doing this. I'm not sure what I think about this statement. I do know, however, that I'm not a very good person, but the Jesus who is working in me is a REALLY GOOD person.

I know that this adoption is 100% what God wants for us, but it is hard to think that this choice might be uncomfortable/weird/even upsetting for others. I am slowly learning to only care about what God (and Tim) think of the life I live but there is a part of my brain that can't turn off this need to please everyone with my choices. 

I do encourage those reading to begin to listen closely to God's opinion on what you are doing. After all, at the end of your life, who do you want to be the most proud of the life you lived?