...but it's the one I find myself working on most often.
Waiting for something that you want sucks. There I said it. I hate waiting in lines, I hate waiting in traffic, I hate waiting for dinner to finish cooking, I hate waiting for my kids at school to put their coats, I just hate waiting. I think the point I am trying to make is: I.HATE.WAITING.
I'm sure you see where this post is heading. Tim and I turned in our homestudy application 3 weeks ago. Which in all honesty isn't that long ago. But in Rachel time we turned in the application 7 months ago. In the 3 weeks since we turned in our application we have been diligently chipping away at the many items that need to be completed for the homestudy. Fingerprinting, getting a physical, filling out endless amount of paperwork, and so on. Well, as Boyz II Men would say, we have come to the end of the road. We have reached a point where we now have to wait. Seriously?
Let me back this up a bit. We have to complete several classes as part of our homestudy process. The agency we are using recently finished up their winter round of said classes and now we have to wait until April to start taking them. April?! In case you are unaware of the way the calendar works-that is next month! To further frustrate this point, our homestudy assessor (who God bless her has already answered 2.3 million questions from me) told me that there really isn't much else we can do until we start taking our classes.
I understand you rational thinkers will say "well, that's really only a few weeks away" but it feels like an eternity. I do not know what I will do with myself while I wait for these classes. For those who do not know me well, I am not one who can calmly sit around and leisurely read a book on a Saturday afternoon. If I do not have solid, real-life work that needs to be completed on a daily basis I go bananas. B.A.N.A.N.A.S.
So, to everyone out there reading, you just might get some sort of new Pinterest craft from me that you can hang on your wall and say: "Rachel is losing her mind waiting for her homestudy classes and all I got was this stupid craft."
The good news: my homestudy assessor said if we can get all of our classes in during the month of April she could probably still have our homestudy complete by the end of April. From there we would then contact the adoption agency where we found our sweet boy and then, who knows!
This is my warning for all my control-freak friends out there: adoption is overwhelmingly out of your hands! So much of this process depends on so many various people; many of whom may not work at the same pace. The 2 months in which we have really been invested in this so far have already taught me so much how to let go and let God. Sometimes the dreams God puts into your life are ones that you have to pray hard about and pray LONG about. I learned how to pray hard years ago; praying long is a new one. I encourage you to not give up on the big dreams that seem far away. Dreams of starting a family, or starting your own business, or paying off your sibling's debt, or moving to a foreign country. Truthfully, they might actually be far away. But God will get you there when HE is ready, not you. Trust God's timing because only He can see the big picture. I am sure that part of the big picture for Tim and I having to wait is to help further prepare us to be the best parents we can be. It just hurts me knowing that there is a child out there who needs a home and he has to wait because of some silly classes. It seems unfair but God is always good so there is a reason for this too.
I'm sure that most of this is some cosmic payback from the Lord as He had to wait a year on me to say yes to this adoption in the first place. Well, God, I don't think this is very funny!
So God, I will wait. Tim will wait. We will wait on Your timing. Your way is so much better than ours. But seriously Lord, we are ready when You are!
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