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My First Airport Homecoming

Tonight was my first (and hopefully one of many) airport homecomings. For those of you not familiar with what an airport homecoming is, this is when a family welcomes home their adopted child with friends and various family members surrounding them (obviously at the airport as their flight comes in). Tonight my friend Mandy welcomed home her son who joined her family all the way from Ghana. All day I was filled with excitement and wondered what her son was thinking as he flew over here; was he excited, nervous, scared? 

As he came into view her entire family went running towards him and a giant group hug followed. There were shouts of joy, tears, and countless hugs and kisses. This was one of the most beautiful sights I had ever seen. This boy now had brothers and sisters who were giving him kisses. This boy now has dozens of friends whom his parents were excitedly introducing him to. This boy has an entirely new life. What an overwhelming thing to think about.

Then Mandy said the following words to her children: "Let's go home." I was so overcome with emotion at those three words. Her son is HOME. This is his HOME now. For this child I joined dozens of people in prayer. I have been praying that this child would come home for months. Now the day is upon us. For this day I have prayed and it is here! 

This was the second adoption that I had the opportunity to see through to a welcome home and both times it was such an emotional high. I know that adoptions are such a miracle and so near and dear to God's heart. As I see these children come into this new life, it is amazing to watch the changes that occur. These children now have a forever family. A family that will love and support them from now on. They have siblings, a mommy, a daddy, they have someone to help them with homework and someone to hold them when they cry. I feel so blessed to have had the opportunity to see the beginnings of these new lives for these children.

After tonight I have a new desire to bring my child home. I want him to experience what Mandy's son got to experience tonight. I want him to see how many people have been praying for him, loving him, and supporting him from afar. I want to hold him, I want to kiss him, I want to tell him that "we're going home." I cannot wait for the day that I get to proudly parade him around and introduce him to all my friends and family members.

I appreciate all of you who have been praying with us so far. I feel like the further we get into this the harder it is becoming. I know God is working in and through us during this process which is why it is all so hard. So, Tim and I really do appreciate all of the love, support, listening, and prayers that so many of you have offered us over these past few months. I am hopeful that one day soon we will be having our own homecoming (which all of you will be invited to of course).

Do Not Worry

Well That Seems Impossible

I worry about everything. I worry about the weather, I worry about my relationships, I worry about what I'm going to cook for dinner, I even worry about my insane amount of worries.

Tim and I had a recent devotion which included none other than Luke 12: 22-34 which is all about not worrying. I'm sure this devotion came to us at an appropriate time as our first visit with our homestudy assessor is tomorrow. I don't really know why I am worried or what I should even be worried about. I have been cleaning the apartment down to the baseboards, Tim and I have been practicing sample interview questions that we might be asked, and we are both very much on the same page about basically everything! So what is there to worry about?

I guess my real fear is that this lady will tell us that we are not fit to be adoptive parents. I guess that deep down I have so many insecurities. I am afraid that she will take one look at our life and say that it is not good enough for a child to enter. I know that this might seem crazy but it is something I cannot get over. I can't shake the feeling that we are going to be denied our adopted son. I have spent quite a bit of time Googling "reasons that homestudies are not approved." 

This whole process has made me question myself so much. Who am I really and what kind of parent do I want to be. Tim and I have discussed discipline techniques, how to toe the line between love and discipline, and above all we have discussed how in the world we can afford our growing family. More than anything though I have questioned the Swetts ability to be a truly functional family. From the outside looking in, do we just look like a couple of broke kids who have no idea what they're doing?

No matter what happens tomorrow; whether we bomb every question she asks us or our apartment isn't as clean as I think it is (although this is highly unlikely), I have to trust that God is going ahead of me. Whatever way the chips fall in my life, I have to believe that God is in charge of it, not me. I refuse to base my belief system on the good or bad things that happen to me in my life. I chose to believe in the character of my God. Above all I have to remember to have faith and trust in who my God is. My God is goodness, my God is righteousness, my God is justice, my God is love, my God is trustworthy, and my God is for me. This is why I shouldn't worry about my life. If I really believe that God is all of those things, why should I worry?

The burdens I am currently carrying are entirely too heavy. There is no way I can face my challenges alone. I am thankful for a God who is willing and able to take all of my worries and concerns. That isn't to say that I don't spend most of my waking hours with a constant inner turmoil while thinking about everything that is going on. However, I encourage you to try to give up some of those worries to God. This isn't an easy process and requires a daily "giving up" but I can't think of anyone better to whine to about my problems that God (and of course all of you reading this!).

Transparency

Free From Pretense or Deceit

**DISCLAIMER** This blog entry is about more than just our adoption. God is working on a lot of things in our lives!

I have been watching a lot of Pretty Little Liars lately. My coworker suggested it and I am now hooked. One of the most interesting things that I have learned from this show is how easy it is to get caught up in a lie. These 4 girls lie about some of the most ridiculous things like who sent them a text. If they could just be honest about 1 or 2 more things in their lives they would be in half the trouble that they find themselves in.

This leads me to the context of this post. Tim and I have spent the past 9 weeks (sometimes suffering through) Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace class. When we signed up in January, I thought we'd learn a little about how to make a budget. Well, as tonight was our last night I realized that I had learned more about myself than I ever did about balancing a zero budget or opening a Roth IRA.

The biggest thing that I got out of this class is the importance of being open, honest, and most importantly, transparent with those around you. At the end of each Dave Ramsey lesson you break up into small groups. Here you are surrounded by 8-10 strangers talking about your finances. The strange part was I never felt ashamed or embarrassed to share what was happening in our lives financially (and we had some doozies over these past 2 months). It was actually quite freeing to talk to others about some stressful events in our lives and the best part was we were always met with compassion and understanding.

God intended for us to live in community. This life was never meant to be lived alone. God wants you to have deep, intimate relationships with your family members and with friends. When you develop these intimate relationships, you can share with one another your struggles and your successes. How can you know to help someone you love if they refuse to share with you that they are struggling? How well do you know someone when they plaster a fake smile to their face and tell you they're okay? I feel like in America it is so taboo to share with others about our finances. Why is this? Why can't we talk about this? Wouldn't you rather help a friend buy some groceries instead of seeing them go on food stamps?

In the end, I feel more and more humbled each day. God has been slowly chipping away at both mine and Tim's pride. The Lord is showing me that I need to have open hands at all times. There will be seasons where my hands are open to give freely to those around me. There will also be seasons where my hands will need to be open to receive from those around me. I know from experience that it is painfully hard to accept financial help from others in a time of struggle. But the good news is I am not always in a place of needing to receive. It is one of the greatest joys to be able to give, and give big, to others that are in need.

So, I encourage all of you to examine your posture. Are you clenching your fists; holding onto something afraid to let go? Or are you willing to share whatever you have with those around you? This world is a scary place. Life is infinitely more peaceful when you let others in on your struggles and successes.