The Next Chapter of Our Story

Some Major Changes Are on the Way...

I know that I have said this before, but I feel like once you say yes to God, your life will get flipped on its head. Well, He’s done it once again.

We’re pregnant.

Let’s start at the beginning. When Tim and I started our 6 months of prayer and fasting about our family we felt like God spoke to us clearly and said that He wants us to welcome children into our home in any way, shape, or form. At that time we had no idea whether He still meant through adoption or if He meant through birthing our own children. We continued to pray about this and really felt like God was saying it was okay for either or both to happen. With that seal of approval we moved forward with the adoption and put the thought of babies on the back burner.


Cut to March. One weekday morning I realize that I’m experiencing some symptoms of pregnancy. Panic fills me from head to toe. I took a test at home and sure enough-two pink lines. The first feeling I had when I saw that stick was complete terror. There’s no going back now. Of course I wanted to be pregnant; of course I want to birth my own children-but now?! Is now, two months into our homestudy process, really the time for me to get pregnant?

As I told Tim he calmly reminded me that “he knew this would happen.” He then also informed me that we’d figure it out and everything would be okay. I spent the next 3 hours of my evening mulling it all over. By 9PM that night I was overcome with guilt. How could I be upset about this miracle that is taking place in my body. Babies are a miracle from God. The fact that while Tim and I were not even trying to get pregnant I did indeed become pregnant! It was in that moment that I realized that God was going to bring children into my home in whatever way He sees fit; whether that’s through birthing them, adopting them, or fostering them. God will do what He wants when He wants to. I just have to get on board with what He is doing. A wise friend once told me that I am not going to screw up God’s plan and I think that’s true. I believe that God is a good Sheppard and He will lead me to where I need to be. It is not about me being a good follower, it is about Him being a good leader.


Now having had several weeks to process this, I am still in a state of confusion. Can we really afford to have a baby? What does this mean for our boy that we are fighting so hard to bring home? This is the question that hurts my heart the most and keeps me up most nights. In my mind there is no way this can work out for him. I feel so guilty when I think that because I got pregnant that this child will no longer have a home. However, I realize that this is slightly crazy seeing as I am not the end all be all for this child. I am not the only solution for this child’s life. In all reality, without a baby we still might not be a good fit for him. I have to trust that God has this boy in His hands and that He will put him in the best home possible. This still might be our home, and by golly if it is we’ll take him! But I have to accept the fact that God might also have an even better plan for this boy that does not include the Swetts.

So where does this leave us? Tim and I are going to complete our homestudy. We are still going to inquire about "our" boy once it is complete. Once we have told the county that we are interested, they will then have the opportunity to decide if they think that our home is a good fit for this boy. A good thing to note here is that just because we inquire about a child does not mean that we are going to get him. We are just expressing interest and seeing if the county finds us to be good parents for a particular child. Some good news in all of this is a homestudy is valid for two years before it needs to be updated (which even then is an easy process). Meaning, if it doesn't work out with the sweet boy we've chosen now, we could try again until 2015. We know God still has adoption in our future. He wouldn't have let us go through all this if it wasn't.


Life is funny; as soon as we accepted one reality from God, He threw another one at us. I feel like God rarely let's you get too comfortable. I think He likes to operate in this realm of discomfort. If nothing else, it keeps life interesting! So welcome to the full story. For those of you who may be wondering why I have been so weird lately, now you know. I am so thankful that this can now be out in the open! I am terrible at keeping my own secrets. 

We ask that you please continue to pray for "our" sweet foster child and now I'd like you to add our baby to your prayer list. As I have been praying lately I've come to realize that God is always in complete control over my life, my baby's life, and our boy's life. Just as I have told God repeatedly that my life is His, I must also give my child's life to God. This is just like Hannah in 1 Samuel when she committed her son's life to the Lord if He would allow her to become pregnant. Everything in my life needs to be held with open hands in which God can give or take. So I dedicate my baby's life to serve the Lord and ask God that He would also take "our" foster child's life into His hands. He will take better care of my baby and that boy than I ever will.

Trusting...hoping...praying.

"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
¹⁴ I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well."- Psalm 139: 13-14